Very recently I faced a live situation while visiting one of my close relative. I am sure many of you do face a similar situation in life. It set me thinking as to why such a thing occurs. “ Why do your close relatives back bite against you to another close relative?”
The situation is that on an invitation you go to a particular relative. The host engages you in a sweet talk and offers information and encourages you to talk/ comment on some other relatives’s conduct. You in good faith also confide something about the other relative. As soon as you leave, your host rings up the other relative and tells him / her about what you said about him and coveys it with a plenty of juicy stuff added from him/ her. This angers the affected relative and in turn he cuts all ties with you. What is this phenomenon and how to combat it?
Searching on the web under the psychology head, I found that the behaviour I described here is known as triangulation. Triangulation occurs when one person involves a third party in a conflict or a problem between two people, usually for their own benefit. In this case, one relative is using you as a source of information to gain favor with the affected relative, while also damaging your relationship with the affected relative.
To combat triangulation, it is important to recognize the behavior and avoid engaging in it. When someone tries to involve you in a conflict or problem between two people, it is best to redirect the conversation back to the source of the issue and encourage those involved to communicate directly with each other. It is also important to be cautious about what you share with others, particularly those who have a history of triangulating.
In addition, building strong and open communication with your relatives can help prevent triangulation. By establishing trust and maintaining clear communication with them, you can prevent misunderstandings and reduce the likelihood of conflicts being escalated through triangulation.
Guchi.
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