Habits die Hard and attract more Habits.

I was a young Captain then (1980) in the Indian Army. In one of the Regiments of the Indian Army where I served, amidst the ranks and files of disciplined soldiers, there existed a character unlike any other – let us call him Major Know All. With a comment for every situation and a penchant for confusion, Major Know All was as entertaining as he was perplexing. But it was his battle with the notorious habit of smoking that truly showcased his unique approach to life.

One fateful day, a fellow officer, perhaps in a moment of misguided goodwill, suggested to Major Know All that he should kick his smoking habit and substitute it with chewing gum. Ever the obedient soldier, Major Know All took this advice to heart and embarked on a crusade against cigarettes, armed with packets of chewy goodness.

But alas, habits die hard, and soon Major Know All found himself not only chewing gum but also leaving a trail of sticky residue on files, desks, and even his own uniform. Undeterred, he soldiered on, convinced that he was winning the battle against nicotine addiction.

However, as fate would have it, the lure of the cigarette proved too strong, and on the seventh day of his gum-chewing odyssey, Major Know All succumbed to temptation. “One or two cigarettes won’t hurt,” he reasoned, and thus began his slippery slope back into the clutches of smoking.

Undeterred by this setback, another officer, perhaps equally misguided, suggested that Major Know All try chewing Pan Masala instead. And so, armed with a tin of mouth freshener, Major Know All delved into yet another alternative to smoking.

But as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, Major Know All found himself juggling not only cigarettes, chew gum, and Pan Masala but also a myriad of other habits – excessive coffee, tea, lassi, fresh lime and who knows what else.

As for me, I was posted out from that regiment, leaving Major Know All to his multifaceted battle with his vices. And though the details may have faded with time, I have no doubt that Major Know All remained as entertainingly confused and as stubbornly addicted as ever.

For Major Know All, it seems, habits truly do die hard – but not without putting up a valiant fight.

Guchi.