Navigating the complexities of making friends on Facebook can feel like participating in a high-stakes dance – friend requests, checking profiles, and the nerve-wracking wait for approval or rejection. Success seems to linger around a mysterious 40%, keeping us all in suspense.
But fear not, the skill of unfriending is a different game altogether – a somewhat humorous game, at that. Blocking is like the nuclear option, akin to burning a bridge with a flamethrower. We’re opting for subtlety here, the finesse of the unfriending ballet. So, how can you exit gracefully without causing too much drama?
A. Start a Comment War:
Wait for your unsuspecting friend, whom you want to get rid of your Facebook friendship to write any post, then dive in like a keyboard warrior. Comment most obnoxiously on his post. He is bound to defend his post, don’t give up and write a bigger insulting reply. Carry on till cows come home. Voila, you will be blocked.
B. The Art of Disapproval:
Under no circumstances, like your friend’s posts. Instead, drop a sassy comment. For instance, on a picture of a friend enjoying a drink and a meal:
“Great people discuss ideas, mediocre ones events, and small minds think of only eating and drinking.”
Watch as the blocking gates swing wide open.
C. Tagging Extravaganza:
Become the Tag Master. Shower your friend with tags on all sorts of questionable content. On his birthday, tag him with a post showing a pic of funeral or a gory accident. Patience is key; give it a week, and they’ll block you faster than you can say ‘social media exile.’
D. Game On, All Day Long:
Spam your friend with game invites relentlessly, especially during office hours. Twenty Candy Crush invites a day will have them questioning their life choices and blocking you in a fit of digital rage.
E. The Over-Enthusiastic Cheerleader:
Become their personal hype person on every post. Comment with excessive exclamation marks and cheer them on relentlessly, even on mundane updates. Embarrass him with your unwanted and sarcastic praise. Example:
Friend: “Had a chill day watching TV.”
You: “OMG, THAT’S INCREDIBLE!!! 🎉 Best day ever! You’re such a legend!”
F. The Quote Warrior:
Respond to every status with inspirational quotes, preferably from self-help gurus or philosophers. Flood their feed with wisdom until they can’t bear it anymore. Example:
Friend: “Just finished my workout.”
You: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Keep pushing yourself to greatness!”
G. Emoji Overload:
Reply to every message and post with an overwhelming number of emojis, creating a virtual visual assault. Turn every interaction into an emoji mosaic that leaves them questioning your sanity.
H. Political Pundit:
Transform every casual conversation into a political debate. Share extreme opinions, fact or fiction, on every topic. Soon, they’ll find it easier to hit the “block” button than engage in another heated debate.
I. Pet Peeve Provoker:
Identify their pet peeves and subtly incorporate them into every interaction. Whether it’s grammar corrections, excessive puns, or using the wrong “your” – annoy them into oblivion.
J. Cryptic Status Updates:
Post mysterious and cryptic status updates that leave them scratching their heads. They’ll tire of trying to decode your hidden messages and opt for the simpler solution: blocking you.
Remember, the goal is to be annoyingly memorable, not just annoying. Choose your method wisely, and soon they’ll be searching for the elusive “unfriend” button.
Remember, it’s an art, not a science. The key is to irritate, not devastate. Now, go forth and refine your unfriending finesse!
Guchi.
Improve Your Life 