Importance of Mature, Effective and Graceful Communication.

Effective, sound and polite communication is the linchpin of successful relationships, be it between individuals or within an organisation/society. In our current intricate personal and professional environments, despite advancements in awareness, technology, and knowledge, effective communication remains challenging. Family ties often strain due to poor communication, contributing to the rising cases of family discords, societal conflicts predominantly caused by crossed communication transactions and ego clashes.

Behavioral scientists, including Dr. Eric Berne, have explored communication theories, such as Transactional Analysis, which highlights the importance of transactions conducted at the same level to ensure understanding. While modern theories abound, ancient scriptures from various religions, including Sikh teachings, still offer timeless wisdom on effective communication.

Guru Nanak, the first Guru of the Sikhs, emphasized the value of polite conversation and choice of words. Quoting from Sikh scriptures, Guru Nanak urged followers to speak words that bring honour, cautioning against harsh and improper language. Another verse stresses that insipid words make the mind and body insipid, underlining the impact of communication on one’s well-being.

“ਬਾਬਾ ਬੋਲੀਐ ਪਤਿ ਹੋਏਯ||”

ਜਿਤ ਬੋਲਿਯੇ ਪਤਿ ਪਾਈਐ ਸੋ ਬੋਲਿਆ ਪਰਵਾਨ ||

ਫਿਕਾ ਬੋਲਿ ਵਿਗੁਚਣਾ ਸੁਣ ਮੂਰਖ ਅਜਾਨ ||” (Ang/Page15 Shri Guru Granth Sahib (SGGS))

“ O Baba, Speak only those words which bring you Honour,

As those words are acceptable, which when spoken, bring Honour.

Harsh and insipid words bring only grief. Listen, O foolish and ignorant mind.”

Above implies that words should be carefully chosen so as not to offend the listener, these should be balanced, without sarcasm, clear, polite and exhibit grace. Only such communications would show one’s maturity, dignity and class, thus it would be a true reflection of one’s personality. Harsh and improper words spoil relations and a person using these is considered an immature and ignorant person. Each one of us have varying perception of any subject/ topic and we can disagree without hurting or ridiculing others by using mature, firm and decent communications.

Let us all make a sincere effort in cultivating habit of good, polite, graceful and decent communication. By doing so we would ensure happy relations in our family, organisation and society.

Guchi.